I love my boyfriend I truly do. However, I can feel as if he doesn’t love me equally or not even hardly at all.
I try and do as much as I can for him, & on the one night I need him. The one night I want his breath next by mine. His hand on my face. He decides his friend and drinking is more important.
I am so scared for tomorrow, though it may not be a big deal through his eyes, the court system is a giant one through my eyes.
Why can’t you be here with me to tell me I’ll be okay? Tell me not to over think this? Tell me you’ll be there for me?
You can’t be there in the morning, so why is it so much to ask for you to be with me tonight? I love you so much but I don’t deserve this. I deserve to be thought of & cared for, not replying to simultaneous late drunk as fuck text messages.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I wrecked. Got hit by a car. Choked on asparagus. Anything really, to see if you cared when you’d hear I was in the hospital. You used to be there for me within the first few months, but now you’re letting me fade away, as if you found something better.
Whether it be with another girl or simply with a friend, tell me.
I’m tired of not being happy. This is making me sad. Afraid. Alone.
Take what’s mine to be your’s for granted. Just because I let you use my car from time to time, does not give you permission to smoke a bowl in my car without asking me. My car isn’t even technically mine, its my fathers, especially when I’m aiming to air it out to take it into the shop to get it fixed. Its disrespectful & quite frankly rude.
I don’t care if we are dating or not, ask me & don’t just say you’re going to do something without my consent when it involves something that is my responsibility & not your’s.
& I bet he just wants a friend.
I’m aiming to get the most adorable husky pup here soon.
Why I’m addicted to looking up huskies for hours at a given time.
His name will be Gulley in memory of my best friend.
Or Gull for short.