I love my boyfriend I truly do. However, I can feel as if he doesn’t love me equally or not even hardly at all.
I try and do as much as I can for him, & on the one night I need him. The one night I want his breath next by mine. His hand on my face. He decides his friend and drinking is more important.
I am so scared for tomorrow, though it may not be a big deal through his eyes, the court system is a giant one through my eyes.
Why can’t you be here with me to tell me I’ll be okay? Tell me not to over think this? Tell me you’ll be there for me?
You can’t be there in the morning, so why is it so much to ask for you to be with me tonight? I love you so much but I don’t deserve this. I deserve to be thought of & cared for, not replying to simultaneous late drunk as fuck text messages.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I wrecked. Got hit by a car. Choked on asparagus. Anything really, to see if you cared when you’d hear I was in the hospital. You used to be there for me within the first few months, but now you’re letting me fade away, as if you found something better.
Whether it be with another girl or simply with a friend, tell me.
I’m tired of not being happy. This is making me sad. Afraid. Alone.